I know where you are right now. You know you’re here to do something brilliant and even if you don’t know what that is yet you know you have to do it. I get that actually life might not be terrible right now, but it’s not how you thought it would look. You kinda know you’re not doing your Thing, as it’s not easy doing what you’re doing.
You know that you have a talent for something and you ‘get’ that you’re allowed to make this your job, your work, your business. But it’s just not happening.
Is this how it goes?
You get focused and you know what you need to do to get more clients in and share what you do and yet you’re not doing it. It’s not that you haven’t been on the marketing courses or listened to the webinars or the free training calls or bought those programs (that might be sitting on your shelf or you can't remember the password to them as they are online). I did that. And worse—I was already a marketer—I knew loads of this stuff anyway! So don’t feel bad that you did it too as you needed to learn the marketing (I didn’t always need to do that!). I would go to events and ‘learn’ thinking that I was buying action. I wasn’t. I was usually just buying more overwhelm (and more folders and books to dust on my shelf!).
I didn’t get it. I didn’t get for ages why I wasn’t excited about doing what I knew I was good at. And then it dawned on me... I wasn’t actually doing my Thing. I was doing what I was good at and not feeling it. Maybe you get that too? You’re busy following the formulas and going through the motions of launches, mailing offers and you’re not actually 100% behind yourself.
Because actually you know inside you’re not really doing what you’re here to do. But if this isn’t it then what on earth is?
You gave it up
Because you gave up your job, or retrained or have been making it work (or saying that it’s working) for some time. It’s not working quite how you’d hoped though. Sometimes you wonder where the clients are going to come from, or you’re too busy with the clients you have to take time out to do your Thing or change direction or charge more, or work the way you want to work.
It might mean saying goodbye to the clients you have now, or a skill you’ve invested in. I get that. When I ‘picked a niche’ of hotel marketing to marry together what I was really good at (marketing) and what I loved (travel and hotels) I had no idea I was niching myself into a corner where I felt restricted instead of free to just be focussed. It didn’t feel like a 'win' to me when I had to say ‘no I can’t help you’.
In a corner?
Who is keeping you in your niche? Or doing the work you're doing right now? It might be just you and the ‘I’m not a quitter’ attitude. I know that’s what trapped me… (I’m no quitter you know!)
It gets you down
You start to be less and less excited about promoting what you do as actually you don’t REALLY want to do it so your sales slow down, and then you’re struggling, and then of course that brings in the guilt and the money worry and the ‘I’m a failure’ thoughts because surely you should be doing better than you are right now. And you can be doing better you know that, but at the same time you don’t WANT to do better because you don’t really want to be doing what isn’t your Thing, you want to be doing that Thing inside of you that you know you really really want to be doing (even if you don’t know exactly what that is or it looks like yet) you know you need to be doing it. Phew. Exhausting!
That corner is such a frustrating place to be in because you know that if only you knew that Thing or that hook you’d be able to take lots of action. The action that you know you should be taking but for some reason just can’t or don’t want to right now.
Make it easy
I get that all you really want is to make it easy. To have that business you know you can have which is you doing your Thing, totally in your flow, your marketing is effortless, where you know what you offer and you’re actually happy with putting a high value on that and being totally confident about who you are and what you do. You see other people doing it, it looks easy but you’re not there right now.
Even if you feel you’re really close, it may as well be a mile as not doing it is not doing it. And the longer you’re not doing it the more annoying it can be.
Don’t choose, allow…
When I realised that what I had ‘chosen’ as my thing was really not my Thing I was lost. Totally adrift not knowing what the hell it was if it wasn’t this ‘logical’ combination of what I love and what I am good at. The missing part was me. I wasn’t excited. It had to go. And that was a HARD decision.
When you’ve invested time and money and effort in something, giving it up for something else that you have no idea will work and how to make it a business is terrifying. And yet something in me made me do it. I just couldn’t go on anymore ‘just’ doing what I was good at.
It doesn’t need to be HUGE!
Just feeling that ‘something is missing’ sounded pathetic to me! I had a HUGE problem about that thinking it had to BE something huge to make a change. It’s not like I was physically suffering. But I realised that it was big enough for me. I realised I was never going to have the success and ease I wanted in my business until I started doing my Thing. I had to do my Thing and make it happen now as it was irritating me too much and was just way too frustrating.
It just needs to be done
When you commit to making a change and to do your Thing the ease arrives. You have to work, for sure, but you’re excited about it. There’s no ‘should’ about it. You just go out there and do. It’s fun. You get it and more importantly your market gets it.
The clients you really want see you for what you do that’s brilliant. And it makes it easy to do your Thing. I never believed it was possible to attract amazing people who were as excited about doing their Thing as I was about doing mine!
Time doesn't matter
It doesn’t necessarily happen overnight, but it can happen quite quickly when you get there. I’m not saying instantly you’ll be earning that ultimate lifestyle freedom income but you’ll know how to get there. It’s like a weight gets lifted from your shoulders and you suddenly realise how grumpy you’d been and how this had been affecting your friends and family who have been worried about you.
Yes, you might want to do lots of work to get it up and running and actually then instead of worrying how to fill your time you’ll have the quality problem of how to take time off (make sure you do!).
So know that it’s going to get better when you do your Thing - if you allow it to.
Just do your Thing
For you, and for everyone who needs you to be doing it!
Relax. Value what you do in the world and people will value you for it. You’ll smile again. And who doesn’t want that?
I know this is a MUCH longer blog post than usual but I just wanted to let you know I get you. I think you’re amazing - so go do your Thing!
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Right on and very well said
Thanks Angela x
I totally recognize this description – from 10 years in the past I’m happy to report.
I want to add also that knowing what your Thing is and doing it, the doing itself becomes more rewarding than the money you get from it because it gives you that deep down ‘feeling good’ – contentment, self-respect, fulfillment – that nothing else in the world can give you.